You know what makes me uncomfortable, fandom? The fact that we can’t stop complaining about Thane dying.
Do you know what that makes me uncomfortable, fandom? Because I will probably die of a disease that will never be cured. I relate to Thane on a profound level. He was my Shepard’s love interest, but he was not mine. To me, he was representative of me, of people like me. He died. I will die. He was at peace with his life. I hope I’ll have that peace, too.
And every time the fandom says Bioware shit on them, it’s like a slap in the face. Perhaps this is unreasonable of me to say. Perhaps this is unfair. But it grieves me – it hurts my heart, to be quite honest – to see people say “Fuck you, Bioware, for doing exactly what you told us you would do.” Because it feels like someone is trying to take something deeply personal from me: an honest representation of what it’s like to live with an immune system that is a ticking bomb.
My body is destroying itself. Every continued day of my existence is a day where my own immune system, meant to protect me, is attacking and killing me. Every day, I wake up and I wonder if today won’t be the day where I can’t keep going, the day where I will give up and give in. And then I remember that Thane, in a situation considerably worse than mine, got up, left the hospital, and defended the people he loved. He isn’t real. He’s a fictional character. But that action actually gives me strength. Maybe it’s a foolish thing to derive strength from, but when you’ve lived with a disease as debilitating as MS you take what you can get.
Watching Thane die, remarkably enough, gave me hope. He succeeded at so many things, had such a full life, and it continues to give me hope.
Thane doesn’t have to be in the DLC. Honestly, no one even has to mention him. I’d like that, but it wouldn’t ruin the content for me. Because Thane died. And Thane died in the most honorable way a person can die, in the way I want to die.
He died living.